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It happens without warning. Where there was nothing, now there is something. Some things. Quite a few somethings. One of these somethings is large building made of stone. Donapos;t look at it for too long--if the sheer size of it doesnapos;t boggle your mind, the fact that some of the architecture looks impossible will. On the south side of the building--for the sake of argument, letapos;s call it a temple--there is a large lake that looks man-made.

Though the temple seems to be in the middle of the city, there are no standing buildings within a half mile-wide radius of it. The large town looks like a twisted forest surrounding a watchtower. Even in what is now the town proper, some buildings are no longer standing.

Moving through the town and around the temple are vampires and demons, none of which look very pleased with their new location. That will likely change when they realize where theyapos;ve ended up.

So, whatapos;re you waiting for?�Thereapos;ve got to be some survivors in there, right?



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He canapos;t see.

Itapos;s going to drive him mad, knowing and not knowing, seeing and not seeing. Thereapos;s nothing wrong with his eyes, but the things they tell him, the things he knows are coming, those are wrong. Theyapos;re all apart of the cycle as it happened before, the cycle that left him trapped in a mountain and his best friend near dead in Avalon.

And the world now in ruins.

Heapos;s so preoccupied with his thoughts that he doesnapos;t notice how far heapos;s wandered from the house, from his horse. He doesnapos;t notice that heapos;s wandered into a very different place, a much warmer place, that the crystal-less staff of twisted wood is no longer crunching through snow.

Itapos;s bad enough that he actually runs into the back of the bar.

"Oh. Oh dear."
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BBC

Russiaapos;s deputy PM has told the BBC the countryapos;s Black Sea Fleet will vacate its naval base in Sevastopol in 2017 if the Ukrainian government demands it.

Speaking exclusively to Panorama, Sergei Ivanov said Russia would seek to renew its lease on the Crimean port, but will move the Fleet if it cannot.

The move will anger nationalists who consider Sevastopol a part of Russia. ...

Asked if he could envisage the Fleet not being based in the Crimea - its home for the last 225 years - Mr Ivanov, Prime Minister Vladimir Putinapos;s number two who oversees Russiaapos;s military and industry, said:

"Yes I can imagine that easily after 2017. Why not, if the Ukrainian government then in power decides not to prolong the lease?"

It will also surprise the West where in the wake of the war in Georgia many fear Moscow could seek to reclaim parts of the Crimea by force to secure the Fleetapos;s future. ...

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10 things I could say to 10 different people right now

- I am actually sorry I canapos;t make your Para-ness I really donapos;t want you to feel snubbed by me THESE DAYS or something. Not that it probably matters to you Itapos;s just that Iapos;m still REALLY BAD at planning. Anything. Ever. I STILL THINK YOUapos;RE AWESOME (I wonder who that could be for HEY MAX?)
- Come on, cheer up. YOUapos;RE AWESOME (This probably applies to mostly everybody.)
- Iapos;m sorry Iapos;ve not seen much of you lately LETapos;S MEET UP, BITCH. YOUapos;RE AWESOME (This applies to everybody, unless Iapos;ve seen them in the last week. Or have never actually met them. Although it does apply to Cait.)
- YOUapos;RE NOT FUCKING AWESOME >:0 (This applies to anyone who isnapos;t awesome)
- Oh dear (This is currently my standard response to most things, therefore I could AND WILL say it to 10 different people)
- LET IT GO (a fair few blokes, really...)
- PLEASE DONapos;T LET IT GO. (To anyone who SHOULDNapos;T apos;let it goapos; uh...itapos;s is a song title inspired private joke. I give up explaining anything more. Productive ANGST, food, small dogs, free balloons...itapos;s all included here)
- SORRY (Something I should probably say to everybody at one point but probably never will)
- ...what? (As in - what the fuck are you talking about?)
- ...what? (As in - my hearing seems to be really bad)

9 things about myself

- Why? Just get to know me you lazy sods :p
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8 ways to win my heart

- You donapos;t want it. Seriously It keeps malfunctioning or something. Like a faulty engine Probably need to buy one off the black market soon D:
- This wasnapos;t meant literally, was it?
- What the hell do you mean apos;WINapos; anyway? Treating me like some sort of raffle prize certainly wonapos;t make me like you
- But if I overlook that SLIGHTLY MASSIVE BLUNDER Iapos;d say...
- Be yourself.
- Be honest.
- This cannot and will not guarantee apos;romantic successapos; but Iapos;ll be friends with you. Iapos;m nice like that <3
- Serious Note: A healthy respect understanding for Jack Daniels. This is actually very hard to find.

7 things that cross my mind a lot

- OH BUGGER
- Yawn
- Oh no, not again
- I really should have written some music for Bradley by now...
- WHAT THE FUCKING HELL IS GOING ON NOW?
- I forgot to *important activities go here*
- What a shame.

6 Things I do before I fall asleep

- If itapos;s planned then think "my sleeping patterns are clearly non-existent, oh woes"
- If not: just drop.
- Forget to sort out everything I wanted sorting out.
- Listen to music.
- Rotate AT LEAST 650 times.
- Swear because rotating has caused me to need a piss and tangled up headphones.

5 People who mean a lot to me

I REFUSE TO PICK. VIVA LA REVOLUCION <3 <3 <3

4 things I am wearing right now

- Knee high socks, as usual, due to rubbish knees. MY MOSHED UP KNEE WONapos;T FUCKING HEAL >:0 Thatapos;s a fact you all wanted to know. I KNOW IT.
- Baggy blue jeans. Iapos;m not sure theyapos;re meant to be baggy...
- Very gay coloured top (magenta?) rubbish black/grey hoodie THING.
- Gingerness AND/OR a gay (...again) polka dot black white scarf mum found for me without realising I was in the middle of a Great Scarf Crisis Is that some crazy hippy mother magic or what?

3 songs I listen to a lot

ONLY 3? FUCK OFF Well, Iapos;ll try. Iapos;ll go by whatapos;s played most on my WALKMAN PHONE (tm) at the moment...

- The 69 Eyes - Lost Boys (Are we starting to sense a theme between this the last post? >_> This wins because itapos;s my ringtone XD)
- RHCP - Especially In Michigan. (Itapos;s just super happy retarded)
- Hardcore Superstar - We Donapos;t Celebrate Sundays. (This has recently replaced my Megadeth apos;Peace Sellsapos; fixation)


2 things I want to do before I die

- See it coming.
- Not fuck up the sporadic awesomeness of life by thinking about it in these linear terms. Or something along those lines. GREAT INJUSTICE.

1 Confession

- It was me wot made Derby Westfield Centre smell like microwave popcorn today. I didnapos;t expect it to get into the bloody ventilation system and circulate
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I wrote this the day after my bad trip when i was meditating by the river... Or rather, after...

this is all there is. A small corner of a particle, a dust-speck sized portion of this beautiful earth belongs to me. As daunting as it gets, we - i - must go on breathing, moving, shaking, laughing, crying, seemingly for no reason. Everyone knows itapos;s pointless, secretly in some dark hole of our minds we all want to kill ourselves. But for what? to exist as some lesser being? we are all minute, yet also vital to what there is NOW as the cellular makeup of this vast universe, we are atoms. We are barely real, but we are also lucky to get to see this mess first hand, as scary and mind-boggling as it is. We try to break the barriers, see things as they really are. Sometimes itapos;s good, and sometimes that truth is sad. But what really is the truth? all i know is, i exist.

thereapos;s something there which i truly feel and can apply to everything. Again i went to the river to think today in the peace of chirping crickets and reflected light and saw the smallest piece of my soul in a ripple of water. I have felt so lost, so dark, and been wondering why the truth wonapos;t come to me in an instantaneous flash. Yet epiphanies are rare, and frightening. It must seep in slowly, so slowly that i hardly notice it...

life is hard, very hard. But every little violent stone throw at my being affects me like a ripple. Despite what pochahontas says, they neednapos;t go on forever into the ocean of your soul. I sat on a rock there today, watching the movements in the water and searching myself for answers. Unexpectedly, i saw a little circle moving outward, but it seemed to dissipate after a little ways, and the water around it kept moving as it was. This is kind of beautiful - one violent affect fades. I feel like it is possible, to watch the pain fade off into the horizon. And as i was staring out at all that crushing beauty today, a little voice in my heart... The quietest voice, the one i always and still question, but the one that always is right, always has been right... My intuition, the self that fights to get out from all these layers of armor and societal influence and so on, in my head... I thought, very simply, "iapos;m in love with him." and i am. And i worried about this, whether it was just sad love the way you always love someone you once did, or if i still had that true passion love that lets you fight on. And i do. But itapos;s just so clouded right now by soreness and mistrusts. We had such a terrible moment today, and the other day... And it scares me to have this distance, i fear impending doom, but i guess we need it, so i donapos;t only think of him in a bad context... Because i donapos;t want to. I have faith that this will all get better.

one thing he said today, though, was what he always concedes to, "iapos;m not a good person." this has to stop. Resigning himself to moral ambiguity is whatapos;s going to kill this. Itapos;s as if the pain is an indulgence, a guilty indulgence because he has so much self-deprecation eating away at him. And i fear that this sort of outlook is going to prevent him from being able to be truly good to himself or me or anyone. Itapos;s not easy to be a good person... Not at all. Itapos;s much easier to take the other path. But i rarely see happy people at the end of such a journey... And i donapos;t want to be with someone who doesnapos;t believe in themselves, as much as i believe in him, itapos;s hard to when he doesnapos;t seem to... God, i love him. I just want things to be okay.

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Iapos;m working on a feature on Fantasy, so thereapos;s a question to all those well-read people out here:

What books/authors are not to be missed when talking about Fantasy?

The fantasy literature I read is nowhere near comprehensive, and I fear missing something with the same importance as... Oh, letapos;s say, Lord of the Rings.

So if you point me to your personal canon, Iapos;d be forever grateful (Bonuspoints for German Fantasy. Besides Die unendliche Geschichte. I read this when I was an impressionable young adult and dread visiting it again....)

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Playing with the free trial of the Spore Creature Creator. Itapos;s not all that fun... But itapos;s strangely addictive. A very good waste of time. Gief tried to persuade me to buy the Spore game the last time we were at the Apple Store. I donapos;t know. Fifty dollars seems awfully expensive. He wants it more than I do, but his computer is a PowerPC iMac. No intel inside means no Spore for the boy.

Still canapos;t find my owl shorts. And have also apparently misplaced a set of iPod earphones. Need to clean room...

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